The miserable beginning

9 whole days have past by and although I have been meaning to write a new post... life with braces has been a little, distracting.

 

I will start at the beginning. The novelty wore off almost instantaneously. It was then it literally felt like an elephant had made its-fat-ugly-self too comfortable in my mouth.

Nelly had packed her bags and made her way INTO MY MOUTH.

Monosyll is also 'embraced'. He decided that it was extremely necessary to witness my first eating experience.

My culinary creation: Tuna pasta.

With a deep breath, I ate.

Monosyll found the whole thing highly amusing. I did not. After about 20 minutes, I had lost all of my dignity and felt like I had - unintentionally - caught an entire school of fish between my teeth.

Luckily, I too, found the funny side. We were both crying with laughter, proudly revealing our daily catch. Crying with laughter? Or, just crying.

It was important to get out of the protection of Mother's bosom as soon as possible. The longer you leave it the harder it gets. It was still hard. Forward planning meant I had a coke date with my friends at the quietest pub in town. I met my friends in the car park... I was silly and smiled closed-mouth and waving at them for a weirdly long amount of time. Of course, this then made it more difficult to open my mouth. I was being weird. Really weird.

I smiled

I was greeted with...

"oh. is that it?"...

"that's a little underwhelming"...

"where is your mouth full of metal".

At first I felt like I had cheated them, but I quickly began to realise that perhaps my life could still continue...

The pain came in waves approximately 24 hours after the bracing. Monosyll had warned me, for Monosyll seems to have self-appointed himself as The Brace-Guru. My Mouth Mentor. The Toothy Teeth Teacher. You get my drift...

Despite his mighty monosyllabic efforts, the pain was far worse than he had warned. Describing the pain is difficult, I can only liken it to the imagined pain of losing every finger nail. A slow and lengthy peeling of the nail from its roots. A tender torture. It was miserable and I was not happy. For 2 days I lived off liquified everything.

I began to question whether I had made the right decision....