The Bombshell

So, after what seemed like a life time it was time for my brace appointment.

I’d drank far too much red wine the weekend before, way too much blood in my alcohol system. Ordinarily, to avoid staining my ceramic brace, red wine is a no go. This, naturally, has found me dreaming of the rouge. So, to divulge felt very naughty.

I meandered into the hospital. Pursed pouts in the waiting room. My name called. I had developed a gap in my front teeth since my last visit, and although pretending I resembled Mick Jagger's daughter was fun... the self-deceit didn't last long. Neither did the constant novelty whistle which accompanied every ‘F’ sounds I made. Or the fact that, despite several different techniques, spaghetti would always seem to get caught in my "Jagger". Seriously not cool.

I strutted into the “driving seat”... my rouge-tainted elastics were changed, the brace tightened. Goodbye Jagger, Hello spaghetti. Then, without any warning or preparation the bombshell exploded.

I was told, in the insensitive tone in which my Orthodontist clearly enjoys, that I need a bottom brace. Which will be fitted at the end of March 2012. “Do you want ceramic or metal brackets?”... I felt like such a vulnerable, weak, innocent little prey in the cruel clutches of his “driving seat”.

Sure, my hangover didn’t help. I mumbled something. He left the room. Then I cried. Quite a lot. Too much. The dental nurse rubbed my arm. My goggles steamed up. I started to do that weird thing where you hold in the cry and then it surfaces as a snort. Extremely not cool.

As far as I was concerned, my brace had been on for 4 months... and it wouldn’t be so long before I emerged from my chryssalsis. Wrong. Because my top teeth have expanded there is now an open bit. I will have to have both top and bottom braces for another 12 months, starting from end of March 2012. Which means I will be embraced for a further 14 months!!! Both sets, and probably some other contraptions too. This means i will be 24 years old before I have this off. This was a shock and did not combine well with a hangover.

The nurse told me that it wasn’t obiligatory and I could have my top brace off in just 6 months. But, it would not be the perfect outcome. I have been ordered to think about it, and I have been. Its a difficult call... sure, a perfect bite and straight teeth all for free is amazing! BUT... do I want to start my career as a brace face? Your twenties are so precious, especially as a single gal. However, another year is nothing in the grand scheme of life. UGH. I think I know what everyone is thinking.

Why is vanity rearing its ugly little head? IRONIC.