No more curry in a hurry!

I shall start this post with it’s point. 

If you have ceramic braces... then. please. AVOID. CURRY. Please.

I learnt the hard way.

I’m not a huge curry fan, I don’t get the fascination with it really. Especially the ridiculously hot stuff, all of those calories for a painful episode the day after (or, so I am told). Very hot, yet, so very not. 

Anyway, very occasionally, I am partial to a korma – or some other kind of creamy calorific creation. A few weeks ago, my friends felt they needed more quality time with their loo... and off to the Indian restaurant we trotted. Pardon the pun. 

None of us could pronounce the names of the dishes we ordered. We did the classic awkward order. Pointing to the name on the menu, trying to enunciate the name of the dish very slowly... willing for the waiter to finish off what you had false-started. Awkward western giggling.

It was not until the morning I noticed the damage. Initially I was pretty cool about it. It wasn’t until I checked the internet that I realised the stupid curry, which I didn’t even want, had given me more than just a thousand extra calories. A YELLOW BRACE.

The first website I looked at said “never eat curry with a ceramic brace”. Hindsight advice is extremely infuriating. I then proceeded to scrub my little yellow tin grin with; lemon juice, bicarbonate of soda, whitening toothpaste, salt. Believe me when i tell you that is a nasty tasting combination. And one that DOES NOT WORK. 

I just had to face the facts and learn my lesson. Tumeric is the bastard which paints the elastics. I honestly think that orthodontists should inform you of this. I am sure I am not the only victim out there?

And so, several weeks later, we returned. Yes, it was embarrassing and frustrating to order “a cheese omelette with chips” at an Indian restaurant, but very necessary. I am pretty sure the waiter shook his head and sighed. Inadvertently and without warning, I have become ‘one of those’. A fussy, uncultured customer. The elephant in my mouth appears to be ruling my palate now. Great. Still, on the bright side... at least I could pronounce my dish of choice with confidence.